Weiss, What's a Facial?
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Weiss wants a facial.


**Summary:** _Weiss wants a facial._

 **Weiss, What's a Facial?**

* * *

"So, what's a facial?" asked Weiss.

Blake almost choked on a hairball before turning bright red.

It was a slow day in the library. Weiss and Blake were both studying. Technically, Weiss was reading a beauty magazine (she never had many when she was little) and Blake held a heavy arithmetic book up to her nose that stealthily hid the latest release of **Ninjas of Love**.

"It's, it's- er… it's a _thing_ …"

"A thing?"

"Yeah, it's when… a man… takes white stuff… and puts it on your face."

"A man… puts white stuff on your face…?"

"Yeah…" Blake paused. "Well, I guess more like it explodes all over your face is more accurate…" Blake felt her temperature rise by several degrees as she said that. She buried her face into her book to hide her shameful knowledge.

Weiss narrowed her eyes.

"So how exactly does that make you more pretty?"

Peeking through her fingers, Blake's eye fell to the beauty magazine before Weiss.

"Oh! That kind of facial!" Blake gave a nervous laugh. "Hahaha… yeah, you use fruits and creams and stuff. You can get them at a store. Also people like to put cucumbers on their eyes to help."

"What's a cucumber?"

"Oh, I guess Atlas doesn't have those kinds of vegetation in the colder climates. They're like… um, really long thin green little vegetables, although I think they're technically fruits."

Weiss leaned back into her chair.

"Well, this magazine says a facial will make me the fairest in all the lands."

Blake shrugged. "It could, I guess."

Weiss stood up, a determined look was on her face.

"Then it is decided!"

And with that, Weiss took off on the next airship to town to do grocery shopping for the first time.

* * *

Jaune was sitting in his room when Weiss knocked. She had several plastic grocery bags in her hands and plopped them on his bed before asking a question.

Jaune repeated the question.

"So you want me to give you a facial?"

"Yes," said Weiss.

"Uh… are you sure you want me to give you a facial?"

"Jaune," said Weiss sternly.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and give me a facial."

Jaune sucked in a deep breath.

"You want ME to give YOU a FACIAL?" repeated Jaune again, careful to emphasize the words.

"Y-E-S," said Weiss slowly in counter-mockery. "I am sure. And I want you to use these."

Jaune looked inside the bag. He then saw supplies for a facial.

"Oh! You mean _that_ kind of facial! Whew!"

"Is there another kind of facial?"

"No. Absolutely not. Lies and heresy!" Jaune quickly recovered before he dumped the contents out onto his bed. "I've given plenty of facials before."

Weiss cocked an eyebrow. "You have?"

"Yeah."

Weiss felt a tinge of jealousy at the thought of Jaune giving facials to other girls.

"Who?" asked Weiss in a low voice.

"My sisters."

Weiss blinked. _It was fine I guess_ , Weiss thought to herself. _Isn't it normal for brothers to give their sisters facials?_

"Uh, Weiss-" Jaune's voice interrupted Weiss' thoughts. "Why do you have these?"

Jaune held up a pair of green, thin, vegetables.

"Those are for my eyes."

"Jalapenos?"

"Yeah? They're thin and green, right?"

Jaune looked at the jalapenos in his hands.

"Are you sure about thi-?"

"Jaune," said Weiss with a pout. "Just give me the damn facial."

Jaune sighed and got to work. Weiss was laying on his bed and Jaune was on top of her. His hands were moving back and forth quickly, readying the thick and heavy cream for Weiss' innocent face. Once the white stuff was ready, he unleashed its full fury upon Weiss. It felt hot, Weiss thought, but she would bear it all! She could bear it all and more!

All to become the fairest of them of all…

"Okay…" said Jaune. "So you just leave that on your face for a couple of hours and you'll be looking like the dandiest in the ball. Or something like that."

"Jaune."

"Yeah?"

"Where's the green stuff? Blake said they're supposed to go over my eyes."

Jaune raised up the pair of jalapenos.

"Let me get your confirmation. You want me to drop a pair of jalapenos on your eyes?"

"Yes."

Jaune sucked in some air. Then he slowly exhaled.

"Okay."

Jaune positioned himself on top of Weiss. The Jalapenos were wrinkly but still vigorous. Within were the seeds that could spawn an entire generation. Slowly, Jaune lowered the pair of jalapenos over Weiss' eyes like a rich lady dunking tea bags in her afternoon drink.

Then they landed.

And by the ever loving Gods of Remnant did they burn.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Weiss! Are you okay!?" Jaune removed the jalapenos immediately only to be met with Weiss' dark glare.

"What are you doing!? Put them back on!"

"But-"

"Shut up and facial me!"

Jaune shrugged before slamming the pair of jalapenos onto Weiss' face.

Weiss thought of her sister. She wanted to be as pretty as her sister. If this was what she had to endure for the sake of beauty, then it was a small price to pay!

"THE BURNING IS LOVE!" Weiss screamed. She bit her lip and clutched the blankets. It burned so much but she had to endure Jaune's white hot punishment.

Her screaming continued until Weiss nearly lost her voice and it became hoarse.

Then, as the screaming died down, the door swung wide open.

Pyrrha ran into the room.

"I thought I heard screami- JAUNE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Jaune was positioned beside Weiss, ready to remove the jalapenos from Weiss' face when she asked.

Weiss didn't ask.

Before Jaune could answer Pyrrha's question, Weiss answered in a soft voice.

"He's giving me a facial."

 _Weiss, What's a Facial? Fin_


End file.
